Celebrity scumbag update

Charlie Sheen and his third wife are just a couple of lovebirds who had too much holiday cheer:

Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller are planning to undergo counseling after a heated fight at a dinner party in Aspen, Colo., that landed Charlie in jail on domestic violence charges Friday morning.
"They were fighting at a dinner in a friend’s house and it continued until the next morning," a source close to Mueller tells PEOPLE. "Both of them were drinking and neither was supposed to be. They both have histories of alcohol abuse and have made every effort to stop. But things got out of hand." . . .
The actor's Colorado-based attorney Richard Cummins tells PEOPLE, "They have two children together and they love one another and they’re going to work through what is a difficult time and they’re going to do that together and as privately as possible."

The fact that Charlie is a notorious scumbag who got dumped by Denise Richards? Irrelevant! That time he "accidentally" shot Kelly Preston? Irrelevant! His lifelong habit of hiring hookers? Irrelevant!

The only thing that matters is that Charlie gets $825,000 per episode of his TV show and he and Brooke really love each other.

For people in Hollywood, it's important to pretend that they don't know how this story ends.

Charlie Sheen is out of jail

And doesn't that worry you, America?

Charlie Sheen has now been released from Pitkin County Jail, according to Aspen Police. He posted an $8,500 bond (with standard domestic violence bond conditions) and was released Friday night at about 7 p.m. . . .
The 44-year-old star of Two and a Half Men spent most of Friday in jail after being arrested on domestic violence charges following a 911 call at 8:34 a.m. Friday. The victim’s name still has not been released.

If there's one reason Tiger Woods isn't really in the running for the World's Biggest Loser Award, it's Charlie Sheen.

Here's a guy with all the advantages -- rich, good-looking, famous name -- who is a complete failure in his personal life. He got dumped by Denise Richards because of his porn habit. The conventions of journalism require me to say alleged porn habit, but let's be honest here.

We're talking about Charlie Sheen, who by his own sworn testimony spent much of his 20s banging Heidi Fleiss's Hollywood hookers. He is a notorious poonhound, in the habit of changing women as often as most guys change their socks, and even being married to a fabulous hottie like Denise Richards couldn't change his ways.

When a guy gets used to treating women as disposable commodities, we really shouldn't be surprised that he seeks out trashy women and treats them like crap:

RadarOnline.com reported that Sheen tried to choke his wife, Brooke Mueller, who was renting an Aspen home for about three months while Sheen remained in Los Angeles.
Sheen flew to be with his wife on Christmas despite their differences, and they began arguing right away, the site reported.
But TMZ reported that Mueller was legally drunk -- registering a .13 blood-alcohol level -- while Sheen registered a .04 on tests conducted by police.
Sheen's publicist Stan Rosenfield released a statement saying, "It would benefit everyone not to jump to any conclusion."
The two married last year, and this year Mueller gave birth to twin boys
Sheen was arrested in 1996 and charged with attacking a girlfriend at his home. He pleaded no contest and was placed on two years' probation.

See the pattern here? It's the Rake's Progress. Having botched his marriage to Denise Richards -- who seemed like a relatively decent human being, by Hollywood standards -- Charlie's next wife is the kind of woman who blows a .13 Breathalyzer test on Christmas Day.

Charlie has no respect for his wife, and who can blame him? We're talking about a woman with such low self-esteem that she married Charlie Sheen. She hates herself, or else she wouldn't be with him, and we aren't really surprised to learn she decided to spend Christmas Day drinking herself into a violent stupor in her Aspen exile.

Charlie Sheen is just a rich, famous loser.

UPDATE: Let we forget, Charlie is a lefty who likes to impart his political wisdom for our benefit:

He has also said that the 9-11 terrorist attack was an inside job, and wants President Obama to further investigate.

Famous loser, famous liberal -- the only real difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Moore is about 200 pounds of ugly fat.