Oh, boy! 'Fistgate' on Fox!

Sean Hannity just announced that Michelle Malkin's going to be on after the commercial to talk about every middle-schooler's favorite subject!

Don't try this at home, kids!

UPDATE: The Boss gives big props to Gateway Pundit! Attagirl, Michelle!

UPDATE II: Michelle and Hannity made a point about the kind of sexually explicit stuff that is being pushed on kids in the name of "tolerance" -- you can't quote most of it on TV, or in a mainstream newspaper. And the advocates of "tolerance" know this.

If the average taxpayer or the average parent were to see the worst of this stuff, there would be a riot.. And if they understood the psychological influence of "comprehensive sexuality education" -- or saw what goes on in the classrooms where kids are taught this stuff -- they'd be urging that the instigators of such programs be fired. Ten years ago, I interviewed Wendy Shalit:

Her conflict with a sexually explicit culture actually began years earlier when, as a fourth-grader, her complaints about a sex-education class led her parents to request that she be excused from the classes. She spent those hours in the library.
"I was glad to be in the library, because the other girls got teased, and I would just pretend like I didn't know what they were talking about," she recalls. "And in a lot of cases, I didn't, and I was glad not to, frankly."
Sex education in public schools should be "completely abolished," Miss Shalit says. “At best, it's redundant, because kids do not learn the facts from sex education. They know it already."
But Miss Shalit also says sex education hurts girls -- "and boys, too" -- by eroding natural modesty. "The problem is that we have it so early now, we really don't allow people to develop their personalities before their sexual identity," she says.

Wendy's book is A Return to Modesty.

Don't try this at home, kids!

Before you shove your entire fist into an uncomfortable place, remember that this man is a professional educator:

Barack Obama’s Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings founded the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) in 1990. In 2007 Kevin Jennings was paid $273,573.96 as the executive director of GLSEN. Recently he was appointed by the Obama administration to run the Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools in the US Department of Education. . . .
If Gay Straight Alliances are not about sex, why are the people who run Gay Straight Alliances telling students about fisting? . . .

Read the whole thing. Of course, GLSEN was teaching 14-year-olds about fisting in 2000, before the full-fledged development of Internet porn videos made such educational efforts redundant.

Nowaday -- Progress! -- any teenager's curiosity can be satisfied by a simple Google search, provided they can spell the words right, that is. How much random traffic does First Things get from misspelled Google searches?

Schools should spend more time teaching kids how to spell and less time teaching them how to fornicate. When I was a teenager, we managed to figure out fornication without any help from professional educators. Well, not much help.

There was an English teacher at Douglas County High -- greetings, Ms. Dowd, wherever you are -- who left the school under a cloud of suspicion. Although I never learned the name of her alleged victim, I envied him nonetheless. I'd been in smitten with Ms. Dowd since she'd been my teacher in sixth grade, when she was fresh out of college.

She had long, straight hair and wore wire-rimmed "granny glasses," as they were called circa 1970. Her husband had been our fifth-grade English teacher and read aloud to our class Orwell's Animal Farm, explaining it as a metaphor for the Bolshevik Revolution. His wife attended our class for a few weeks while doing her student teaching. At the time, I never imagined that, a few years later, she'd be teaching high school and accused of improper association with a student.

Back then, such accusations were handled administratively and rarely resulted in criminal charges, so I have no way of knowing whether Ms. Dowd was innocent or guilty. However, she was one of the first teachers who ever saw me as anything other than an incorrigible discipline problem, and for that I am still grateful.

Speaking of gratitude, thanks to all those who have already pitched in to send me to Pasadena to cover Alabama in the Jan. 7 BCS championship game. Keep hitting the tip jar, folks.

And kids: Keep your hands (and fists) to yourself!

Episcopalian: The Gay Religion

They can't help it. They were born Episcopalian:

The Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles today elected the first openly gay bishop since the national church lifted a ban that sought to bar gays and lesbians from the church's highest ordained ministry.
Clergy and lay leaders, meeting in Riverside for their annual convention, elected the Rev. Canon Mary D. Glasspool, 55, who has been in a committed relationship with another woman since 1988. Another gay candidate, the Rev. John L. Kirkley of San Francisco, withdrew late Friday.

They haven't actually banned breeders from membership yet, but why bother? No heterosexual has applied for membership in years.

The typical Episcopal church nowadays has more lesbians than the LPGA and more gay men than the first five rows at a Bette Midler concert.

(Via Memeorandum.)

The lameness of Adam Lambert

Let's face it, he's boring -- which my latest column at The American Spectator is certainly not:

At some point, reasonable people might expect an end to these épater les bourgeoisie gestures, as the bourgeoisie have long since ceased to be shocked by such routine public exhibitions. . . .
More than four decades have gone by since Philip Larkin poetically joked about sex having been invented in 1963, "Between the end of the Chatterley ban/And the Beatles' first LP." Nevertheless, there stubbornly persists within the self-styled "artistic community" the assumption that middle-class Americans are a bunch of repressed puritanical hypocrites badly in need of the liberating influence that only pelvic thrusts, gay kissing and the choreographed simulation of sadomasochism can provide. . . .

Read the whole thing.

(Cross-posted at Right Wing News.)

Celebrate Your 'Gay Rights' While We Enjoy Our Right to Change Channels

Adam Lambert's defenders play the homophobia card:

When CBS had Adam Lambert as a guest on its "Early Show" Wednesday morning, it may have believed it would placate viewers who were upset when Mr. Lambert had his invitation withdrawn by ABC's "Good Morning America." Instead, the booking has led to further complaints from those who say Mr. Lambert has been subjected to a double standard. . . .
In a statement, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation said that CBS had been unfair in its treatment of gay performers. "I would have hoped CBS would provide the same treatment for images of gay and lesbian people and not create an unfair double standard that treats our community differently," said the alliance's president, Jarrett Barrios. "CBS regularly shows kisses throughout” its daytime programming. "The kiss was not blurred on ABC nor in news coverage on other networks."

Oh, cry me a rainbow river, you pathetic whiners. Excuse me, but I'm old enough to remember the '70s, when being gay was a personal choice, not a political identity. This idea that TV viewers don't have a right to decide for themselves what is or is not offensive -- an undemocratic impulse, wherein the ideological dogma of the elite must triumph over the common sense of the majority -- is actually a cause of homophobia, and not its cure.

In 2009, homosexuality no longer has the culture-shock value that Lambert sought to exploit. His performance was merely tasteless. ABC, CBS and other TV networks are engaged in a commercial enterprise, and must therefore keep in mind the sensibilities of the viewing public, rather than kowtow to the PC dictatorship of GLAAD.

GLAAD is demanding that TV networks broadcast programming that a majority of viewers don't want to watch -- and implying that TV viewers who change the channel are guilty of a "hate crime."

Laura Gallier has some thoughts on Adam Lambert's unshocking performance, and I have further thoughts at the Hot Air Greenroom.

UPDATE: Let's talk real hate:

Speaking of repulsive scenes on TV: Auburn 14, Alabama 0 in the 1st QTR? That's DISGUSTING!
-- rsmccain on Twitter

'Bama spotted Auburn 2 TDs, just to make it interesting. ROLL TIDE ROLL!
-- rsmccain on Twitter

@Auburnwareagles Are More Gay Than Adam Lambert http://tinyurl.com/ylrkb75 NTTAWWT
-- rsmccain on Twitter

I must clarify that "NTTAWWT" applies only to gays, not to Auburn fans, who are truly disgusting.

UPDATE II: E-mail to a gay conservative:

Thanks for your reply. As I explained at my own blog, I hate the faux-bohemian (faux-hemian?) poseurs who think the bourgeoisie exist only to have their sensibilities shocked. Adam Lambert certainly didn't shock me, except that any singer would be so stupid as to publicly seek the "More Gay Than Clay Aiken" award. In terms of niche marketing, it's not exactly lucrative. The gay audience prefers its men more manly. Unless Lambert is planning on going the camp-drag route, his flamboyant sissy act is a dead end. In a few years, he'll be lucky to get a gig lip-synching old Bette Midler songs in a show bar.
What is repugnant about Lambert is his insulting assumption that he was doing something original, as if we hadn't seen this act before. He is merely rehashing a bogus exhibitionist stance of cultural opposition -- "Oh, look at me! I'm daring! I'm radical! I'm naked!" -- that was transmitted from the '50s beatniks to the '60s hippies and thereafter became a cliche. (When I was a teenager in the '70s, National Lampoon mocked it mercilessly.)
It was not until Madonna came along in the mid-'80s that fake outrage enjoyed any new currency, and then only because Madonna's teeny-bopper fans were too young to remember the '60s. I liked Madonna's first album OK -- "Lucky Star" and "Holiday" were clever -- and was working as a nightclub DJ when it came out. But the ridiculous hype whereby she was presented as an "innovative" artist? Oh, please. By the time she released her coffee-table book, "Sex," in 1992, I'd taken a massive dislike to her -- which was also my reaction to that other '80s "icon," Michael Jackson.
That these third-hand recycled tropes of faux-hemianism are now being fobbed off once more as if they were pioneering artistic expressions is so ridiculous as to deserve laughter. And for GLAAD to pretend that a network's response to audience complaints is "discrimination" or "censorship" is even more absurd. Nobody has a right to perform on national television, and if the producers of the AMA show had told Adam Lambert, "Go away, you talentless twerp," prior to the broadcast he wouldn't have had a legal leg to stand on. But these Official Gay Movement fascisti think that everybody quivers in fear at their bullying tactics, and that nobody will ever call them out for their dishonest thuggery.
Guess what? They're wrong. And I'm sure there are plenty of gay people like you who are sick and tired of being exploited by these Official Gay Movement elitists who are, in fact, just the lavender wing of the Democratic Party. GLAAD doesn't represent ordinary gay people any more than the AFL-CIO represents ordinary blue-collar workers or NOW represents ordinary women.
For that matter, now that I think about it, obnoxious punks like Adam Lambert don't represent most musicians, either. Ted Nugent and Gene Simmons know a thing or two about outrageous showmanship, but I rather doubt they'd endorse the kind of childish stunt Lambert pulled on the AMA. Putting on a show for your audience is one thing; insulting their intelligence is something else. Trying to substitute sexual politics for actual talent is a form of artistic counterfeiting. My advice to Lambert would be to start memorizing Bette Midler lyrics now.
-- RSM

You don't shock us, Adam Lambert. You bore us.